Honor Thy Mother and Father.....

Mothers day brings with it lots of discussion in the adoption community on how to best honor our children’s birth mothers. (Regardless of Mother’s day this topic tends to spring up from time to time.) I have read the many different ways that families honor their child’s birth mother…..but not many about honoring birth fathers. Hmmmm I wonder why? As women do we feel that it had to be more difficult for the birth mother than the birth father?? In some ways I guess we have visualized the birth mother leaving their baby, watching to be sure she is found and is safe. But what about the birth father? He surely grieves this loss, won’t he provide comfort and strength as well as reassurance. I watch Chris with our kids; he loves them as completely as I do. He waited, hoped and prayed for their safe births. He worries, encourages and disciplines them with love. Now he waits for Sophie, dreams of her, and surely loves our daughter who has grown in both our hearts.

I think that the best way for our family to honor Sophie’s birth parents will be to celebrate a special day each year for her birth parents in China, something separate from Mother’s or Father’s day. We will take time to thank the man and woman who hoped for something more for their daughter, something that they could not give. We will send them our thankful thoughts, and reassurance that we love the daughter born to them.