To All My Friends

True Friendship

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems
that always sound good, but never actually come close to
reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of
true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you
sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got
laid.

4 When you are scared -- I will try to calm your
nerves, unless it is something silly then I will rag on you
about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be until you
quit whining.

6 When you are confused I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me
until you are well again. I don't want whatever you
have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your
clumsy ass, but then I will help you get up.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end.
"Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

***Smooches****

*This was forwarded to me by a friend, I didn't write it. I wish I was this clever!
** No we still have not found our dog. We call the pound every day, posted flyers and put in ad in our local paper. If something awful had happened our animal control officer assured me that they call if the dog has ID tags, which she does. As well as a micro chip.